The Moment You Knew…

The moment you realized no one really cared, even though you spent so long believing they did, can be the most devastating experience. You thought you had so many friends , so many people that were going to be “best friends forever”, ended up being the ones who had the knife in your back. It’s been said that the ones you would take a bullet for, are most often the ones pulling the trigger. In my 18 years, I have never came across a statement so true. When you first meet someone, you don’t think “how is this person going to hurt and betray me?”, instead you spend days and nights talking to this person, tell them your deep dark secrets, tell them how others have hurt you and what you are most afraid of. Most of all, you tell them things you don’t tell anyone else. We shouldn’t do this. We have all been hurt at one point in our lives. Every single time we meet someone new, we think they couldn’t possibly hurt us. And more times than not, they take those secrets, and they spread them like wildfire. If they are really good at this twisted “game”, they are the ones to come up and tell you “have you heard what they are saying about you?”. I had a friend that did the same to me, or someone who pretended to care about me when it was ” convenient” for her. This was the hardest for me to realize and slowly let her go. I love her to death, but she is not who she thinks she is, She was the one to hurt me, pick me up, then bury me six feet under. For some reason I keep going back to her though, I think it was because she was so good at pretending. I would tell her things no one else knew, then I heard her mother talking about it to another group of people. Pretty soon everyone knew my business.Even when I came to her, she denied it. I believed her, and half of me still does.

Toxic relationships will kill you slowly. She turned my life upside down for about 3 years, when I blindly followed her, and failed to see when she was hurting me, or using me until the next “best friend” came along. I think this is why so many girls have trust issues. Or why so many do the same thing or don’t get out of these friendships or relationships even, because they think it is normal. They know no other way. I hope that someone reads this and realizes this. The person that you may be saying oh I love you , to, may be the one behind the lies and rumors being thrown in your face. People aren’t always what they appear to be. I had to learn the hard way, Maybe you don’t have to.

-Alyssa

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